he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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