I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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