how can u be prego again
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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