1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
