Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
