She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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