how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
