worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
