After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
