dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We left the knife in your bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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