Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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