highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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