last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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