listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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