what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
