I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
