my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize