Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
