U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
