we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
