I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
