another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize