how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
