I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i've created a new STD.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
