I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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