SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
