Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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