guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize