i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
