Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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