just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
