Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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