i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we made out on top of his cat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
