just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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