If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
