ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
