I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want her autograph on my taint
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
