covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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