I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
