it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
