Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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