Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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