we're blogging at a bar
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
