we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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