I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
