he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
