He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
