Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
