I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
