Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
