And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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