i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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