i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
