You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
