honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
