remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
