We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
being pregnant is like rehab
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
