and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
