Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
