PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
