Christians are straight up FREAKS
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
