kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
