Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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