she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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