are you still at the devil's house?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
