One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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