the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
