I must be too annoying 4 u.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
