i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Randomize
