I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
