"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
