just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
