I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize