from now on my penis is your penis
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
