I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
